Robert Pattinson Has an Idea for a Handheld Fast Food Pasta Empire

Robert Pattinson has always been an interesting interview subject. Whether he’s speaking off the cuff about his role in the Twilight films, acknowledging the masturbation streak within his movies, or, well, just being himself, he’s someone we always love to hear from. In a new GQ cover story he may have managed to top himself, revealing a recent business idea: a fast food restaurant where he would create handheld pasta.

As the story details, he asked himself what would happen if “pasta really had the same kind of fast-food credentials as burgers and pizzas?” An interesting question indeed. A natural thought progression from there might find someone imagining paper cups of pasta, maybe something like the pre-packed cups of instant oatmeal. Or maybe something like a self-serve frozen yogurt shop. But Pattinson doesn’t use natural thought progressions, as the profile makes a point of saying repeatedly (and as we already knew). “I was trying to figure out how to capitalize in this area of the market, and I was trying to think: How do you make a pasta which you can hold in your hand?

Pattinson was so into this idea that he designed his own handheld pasta prototype (involving the use of a panini press) and set up a meeting with Los Angeles restauranteur Lele Massimini. “I told him my business plan,” Pattinson says, “and his facial expression didn’t even change afterwards. Let alone acknowledge what my plan was. There was absolutely no sign of anything from him, literally. And so it kind of put me off a little bit.” Massimini confirmed Pattinson’s exact story.

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Pattinson dubbed his product the Piccolini Cuscino (which means “little pillow” in Italian), and figured if he’s going to be on the cover of GQ, he might as well try to get this idea off the ground again. “Maybe if I say it in GQ, maybe, like, a partner will just come along,” he says.

As the story continues, Pattinson goes to his corner store and gets makeshift products to create his own Piccolini Cuscino while FaceTiming with writer Zach Baron. It’s hard to describe exactly what he’s putting together, but we can say with certainty that this iteration of his dream product included corn flakes, microwaved pasta, and a whole lot of pre-sliced cheese (9 packs, to be exact).

There was also an oven explosion (Pattinson says it wasn’t a microwave, but, given that he put tin foil in and it exploded, it was definitely a microwave). After Baron noted that Pattinson looked like he could’ve fit in next to Walter White or Jesse Pinkman, the future Batman actor confirmed it’s all for the product. “I’m really trying to sell this company,” he said. “I’m doing this for my brand.”

If things remain relatively on schedule, 2020 could be yet another big year for Pattinson; he’s got a major role in Christopher Nolan’s wild-sounding thriller Tenet (which Pattinson cannot even describe in the GQ profile), and a gothic horror Netflix film called The Devil All The Time, which will drop in the falland co-stars Tom Holland and Sebastian Stan.

Then, in 2021, he’s got The Batman. All that’s left, obviously, is to find an investor for his pasta plan. Can’t be too hard, right?

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