Bickering Bernie Carroll is in a write mood and the PM, Flybe and the coronavirus are all in his sights.
The passionate pensioner has fired off a letter to his local newspaper every day for the past 42 years.
No topic is off limits. But then, with Boris Johnson ’s Tories, floods and a pandemic, he’s not short of material.
Speaking to the Sunday Mirror after yet another busy news week, the 70-year-old put the world to rights on everything from plastic surgery to dog poo.
He says: “I’m so angry with the state of the country. I’m working on a letter on coronavirus saying we should just get on with it. There’s nothing we can do apart from washing hands and eating garlic.
“Let’s just ride it out because we are all getting neurotic about it.”
Bernie mockingly dons a protective suit marked Corona Club. We point out the vulnerable are most at risk, but he says: “People die from general illnesses every day. It’s like the mad cow scare and SARS. It passes.”
Bernie is famous in his home city of Liverpool and there’s hardly an editor in the country who hasn’t been on the end of his musings.
But he’s unrepentant and once he starts, it’s difficult to stop him.
Here he goes again: “The HS2 railway? Rubbish. Total waste of money. Who wants to get to Birmingham 20 minutes early? Even people who live there don’t want to arrive any earlier.”
Flybe staff may have lost their jobs but Bernie says the airline’s collapse will at least “put a stop to stag night parties polluting the skies.”
He goes on (and on): “Dog poo. Why do people collect their animal’s poop in plastic bags and hang them on railings?
“Why do people think silicone in their lips is a good idea? And what’s the story with those painted-on eyebrows? Some people aren’t very good looking and only draw attention to themselves by daubing their eyebrows in heavy black paint.
“And what is it with those plastic fish lips on women nowadays? Why would anyone want to look like Mick Jagger?”
Donald Trump is “sub-cretinous”, Home Secretary Priti Patel is “arrogant and Priti annoying”, while Bernie says “I have no words” when it comes to Boris Johnson.
But then no political party is safe with Bernie around. He continues – not that we can stop him – and says: “I hate all politicians and write to them just to tell them how useless they are.”
Former translator Bernie sent his first letter to the Liverpool Echo in 1978 and reckons he has fired off another 15,000 since – penning four million words.
He has three or four letters published a week. Long-suffering wife Stephanie, 69, says she has learned to ignore him.
Stephanie, who runs a pub guide publication business with Bernie, says: “I’ve had plenty of practise at switching myself off. We’ve been married 25 years and I knew him 13 years before that.
“I just tell him to shut up if it gets too much. One of his more, er, endearing habits is lying awake at night listening to the World Service to find new things to inspire him. Luckily, I’m the youngest of five children so am used to ignoring a lot of noise!
“People must think it’s like living with Victor Meldrew, but he is very good hearted and humorous with it.”
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