DEAR DEIDRE: I AM meeting another guy for hot sex.
It was originally my husband’s idea but he doesn’t know we’re still having an affair.
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My husband and I have been happily married for seven years. We are both 34 and have two children.
When I was moaning one day about my dull life as a mum with a baby and a toddler, my husband said, “Look, if you want some excitement and to have sex with another guy, I wouldn’t mind. If it makes you happy, it makes me happy.”
I was totally taken aback. I wondered whether he was having an affair but, no, he was just open to the idea of sharing me.
I was having a rare night out with the girls a few months later when I met somebody.
He was about 30 and I was feeling brave after some wine and a few shots. We danced and chatted and I asked him if he wanted to come outside.
I thought to myself, “Sod it. My old man said I could have sex with someone else, so why not?” That was it. I had sex with this guy in an alleyway.
We swapped numbers but I did feel bad the next day. I told my husband what had happened but he was cool with the whole thing.
I met this man a few times after that, just for sex, but then he got into a relationship so we ended it.
He contacted me again two months ago. He’s single again. I thought I still had a free pass so we went ahead and had sex. The affair is still going on.
My husband is not so keen, though. It turns out he knows this guy and he’s trouble, so he warned me off. I told my husband it was over — but in truth, it isn’t.
We love each other though my lover isn’t the nicest of people. He has a bad temper. I love my husband too but I’m no longer in love with him. So, I’m torn.
Do I stay with my husband who is kind and a good dad or give it all up for the man I love, who in truth is an aggressive bully but gives me great sex?
EIGHT million of us have a stress-related disorder.
Life is all “rush, rush, rush” now and the pressure can undermine health and relationships.
My Self-Help For Stress leaflet explains how to cope.
For a copy email me at [email protected] or message me on Facebook.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your lover is bad news. You are putting up with his bullying but that in itself shows lack of respect and real care for you.
Your husband may have meant well when he gave you a pass to have sex outside your marriage but it suggests he suffers from low self-esteem. Even now he’s thinking of your welfare.
Ditch your aggressive lover and focus on your husband, who deserves your love and respect.
Remember why you got together in the first place. You can resurrect those special feelings again if you work on it.
My e-leaflet Relationship MOT will show how to get your marriage back on track by focusing on one another.
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