DEAR DEIDRE: I STILL want an active sex life at 50 but when I try to talk to my husband, all I get is “I’m not interested”.
We have been married for 22 years. He is ten years older than me and has had health issues, especially over losing his sex drive. His doctor prescribed Viagra, which helps his performance but does nothing to boost his desire.
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When we do have sex it’s regimented, never spontaneous, and he cannot manage certain positions. I want sex more often than once a month and especially the kisses and cuddles that go with it. I am thinking about giving him an ultimatum and saying I will leave if things don’t change.
DEIDRE SAYS: Putting him under pressure is likely to have the opposite effect to the one you want.
Cuddle up close on the sofa, hold his hand when you go out, keep giving him kisses throughout the day. Let him see intimacy does not always have to lead to intercourse.
My e-leaflet Differing Sex Drives explains how to compromise and accommodate one another’s sexual needs.
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