DEAR DEIDRE: I AM pregnant with my new man’s baby but he is already taken – by my sister.
Now I want to ask him to leave her for me and our baby.
I’m 27 and my sister is 29. We were inseparable until she met him three years ago.
It suddenly felt like she didn’t care about me any more. She’d cancel our plans, ignore my phone calls and take days to reply to messages.
I felt abandoned. Left out, I would look at their social media platforms for hours, feeling excluded and resentful.
Though I was furious with her for dumping me, I now see I was more than curious to see for myself what the big attraction was.
Her partner is massively into music and was always going to gigs with up-and-coming artists. So last year I went to one with a friend when I knew he would be there.
He seemed really excited to see me and we spent the next few hours chatting and dancing together.
Eventually, in the early hours, we headed home. We live close to each other so I suggested we share a cab. On the journey home, I took my chance and leaned in for a kiss.
I expected him to shove me off but instead he pulled me closer and kissed me back.
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We ended up going back to his place, where he admitted he’d always had a crush on me. That night we had sex twice. After that, things became intense and we’d meet in hiding twice a week.
Looking back, I wanted to see for myself what the big deal was. But now I’ve fallen for him. He’s a kind, sweet and genuine man.
To complicate things further, I’m six weeks pregnant with his baby.
I want to raise this child together. But how can I without losing my entire family?
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DEIDRE SAYS: You are right: This is likely to blow your family apart.
But before you start breaking the news to people, you need to know what your sister’s partner is thinking.
Does he want the same things as you?
You need to work out if you are looking at raising this child alone or with a partner, to be sure if proceeding with this pregnancy is the right thing for you.
I am sending you my support pack Unplanned Pregnancy, which outlines your options.
If this man does want to leave your sister for you, you need to seriously consider who is more important to you – her or this man.
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It might help to talk things through with someone outside the situation.
My Counselling support pack shows where to find support locally.
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