Sex workers explain why they don't want their clients to 'please' them

You wouldn’t give your hairdresser at the salon a haircut, would you?

That’s the analogy drawn by sex workers who are asked if they enjoy clients offering to pleasure them.

Some customers enjoy giving as well as receiving sex, however sex workers say that a client who focuses too much on them can be more work than those who are there for their own self-pleasure.

If a customer wants to please a sex worker, it can also mean that workers feel pressure to perform their enjoyment rather than just doing their job.

Providers also prefer to keep the interactions about the customer rather than themselves as extra time spent on answering personal questions can be a waste of time and often goes unpaid.

We spoke to some sex workers about what they want clients to know – particularly ones who are keen to ‘give back’.

Many mentioned that instead of receiving sexual pleasure, they would prefer a different kind of joy: timely payments, no haggling, no personal questions, no danger.


‘I would love a client to please me. Throw 10 grand on the bed and not make me have sex with him, that sounds AMAZING.

‘But alas, that is my fantasy, not his. We’re paid to make guys enjoy their time. Most guys want to believe that we want to have sex with them. A good provider makes a client believe that she has enjoyed every moment of their encounter. It’s all a fantasy.

‘I do appreciate clients that make screening easy, leave little extra tips, and also leave on time or ask to extend the session if possible. Don’t get emotionally attached and act on those feelings. Longer sessions are great. Chatting for a little bit to make me comfortable is a big plus.’


‘We prefer our clients to follow screening and booking without complaint, don’t haggle prices, be polite, and show up to the appointment on time and freshly cleaned.’


‘I’ll add leave on time and not ask personal questions (what’s your name, what’s your real job?).’


‘I can only speak for myself but the clients who actively tried to please me during sessions were always my worst ones! There ends up being more “faking it” I have to do and also, unless you’re also really into it, then chances are it will ruin your experience too because you don’t focus on yourself.

‘Put it like this, you don’t go to your hairdresser and try to cut their hair. You allow them to do their job, use their expertise and pamper you.

‘I’d much prefer you just tell me what you enjoy and we can go from there. Both of us are more likely to have a good time and also not waste time.

‘Worst thing for me was having a client leave where I could tell they weren’t happy.’


‘I never enjoy it, I’m not attracted to my clients. But I don’t care, I’m not there to enjoy it, I don’t want to enjoy it.

‘Just relax and enjoy yourself, don’t worry too much about getting her off. It’s most likely not going to happen. Guys who insist on getting us off are really annoying.’


‘My preference is clients doing what they actually want. It is literally the whole point. Guys that want it all about them? Great. Guys that want it all about me? Great. Guys that try and do whatever it is they think they’re supposed to do… not great.

‘Don’t waste your paid time trying to “do your part” so shes “satisfied”. Your part is to pay the money, her part is to satisfy you. It’s literally how it works and it’s totally fine if everyone can accept and be chill about that.

‘No worker ever left a session like “oh he really didn’t do enough of his part to satisfy me”. But we’ve definitely left like “god that was hard work cos I had no idea what he actually wanted”.’


‘The only way really to please me is to pay upfront, and tip generously.’

Wise words.

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