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<\/p>\nWhy is an ex-wife like a hurricane?<\/p>\n
According to an old joke, it\u2019s because they start off wet and wild, and end up taking your house.<\/p>\n
In contrast, Channel 5\u2019s latest pot-boiler The Ex-Wife just took liberties with little things. Like credibility, characters, dialogue and geography.<\/p>\n
It started by flashing forward to calamity. We saw Tasha forcing rival Jen\u2019s car to crash and burn. Jen was in the passenger seat, so presumably Tash\u2019s husband Jack was driving.<\/p>\n
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She\u2019d met the married media exec when he knocked her off her bike in his Jag. A careless cyclist in London, distracted by a phone call, what are the chances?<\/p>\n
If he\u2019d taken her to hospital, it could have spawned a new reality format \u2013 First Dates: Casualty.<\/p>\n
Instead, Jack drives her to his home \u201c15 minutes away\u201d, cleans her wound, fixes her bike\u2026and one dinner date later they\u2019re, ahem, riding hard in tandem.<\/p>\n
But hold on. They collided in central London, so how was his stunning\/sterile Grand Designs gaff surrounded by woodland \u201c15 minutes away\u201d?<\/p>\n
Was it in the fabled forests of Peckham? Or the lost Vale of Dagenham? Was it twinned with Narnia? Jack said he was separated from wife Jen who was infertile. He then ditched her, wed Tash and knocked out a sprog. Bosh.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
So far we know, bitchy Jen has no idea of boundaries, and is probably out to get Jack back. Tash\u2019s ex might be the baby\u2019s real dad, and she could be a gold-digger.<\/p>\n
And Jack is either an insensitive clot or a conniving scumbag.<\/p>\n
My money\u2019s on that, because what kind of birdbrain reminisces with his ex about their happy times together in front of his new missus?<\/p>\n
Also cos he told Tash he was going on a business trip to New York and she tracked him down to Jen\u2019s\u2026So is she even an ex at all?<\/p>\n
*THIS show could well win a Bafta next year \u2013 Best Supporting Luxury Kitchen in a Far-Fetched Drama.<\/p>\n
*IF Tash\u2019s baby was sired by Jordan Stephens\u2019s Sam wouldn\u2019t she have felt its rizzle kicks? (Insert your own Mama Do The Hump gag here).<\/p>\n