EastEnders’ Lily Slater surprised viewers earlier this year when she discovered that she was pregnant during a trip to the hospital. Just months after she celebrated her 13th birthday, Lily gave birth to her daughter, who she called Charli after the singer Charli XCX, earlier this month and viewers of the BBC soap have seen her adjusting to life as a mum.
For Bridie Walker, Lily’s ups and downs as a teen mum is one she can relate to. When she fell pregnant at 13, giving birth after turning 14, her life “changed profoundly”. 31 years later, Bridie speaks to OK! about her experience and why she wouldn’t change anything for the world…
“As the wave of pain began to build, I doubled over, trying desperately to keep breathing. “Women go through this every day,” I told myself, collapsing on the bed.
But I knew my labour was different. I was alone in my bedroom, surrounded by stuffed toys and schoolwork, timing my contractions with my Garfield digital clock. I was only 14 and about to become a mum.
As a child, I never had much stability. My parents divorced when I was five and my younger brother and I would move between mum and dad every few years.
Wherever I was living, one thing was the same – I saw a career in my future, not babies. But I also wanted love, and when Ben*, an older boy at school asked me out at 13, I was thrilled. I was so naive and besotted that I never thought about contraception when we started having sex.
A year later, when my friend Anna* tearfully told me she’d missed her period and asked if I would come to the family planning clinic, I instantly said yes. She asked me to also take a test so she wouldn’t feel so alone.
“This is crazy,” I thought, as the nurse tested my urine. “I’ve just had my period.” Then came the words that changed my life forever: “Your test is positive. You’re pregnant.”
In head-spinning shock, with a GP referral letter in hand, I stepped out to be met by Anna’s relieved smile. She wasn’t pregnant. “But I am,” I replied. Her mouth fell open. Leaving the clinic, I walked to Ben’s house.
When he became angry, my hand flew straight to my stomach. My world had been turned upside down, but I knew I was keeping this baby, no matter what.
The next day was a blur. I woke up in a panic, pretended I was too ill to go to school, then sat on the sofa to break the news to my stepmum and dad. They were surprisingly calm, but when Dad phoned Mum I could hear her furious screams.
Walking into school the next day, knowing Dad had also called them with the news, was hard. Squaring my shoulders, I was determined to handle whatever happened. While there were whispers and looks, the other students were great. The staff were a different story, though, and I could see their contempt and disapproval in every stern remark and glare.
It was the same at the doctors’. Endless tutting and huffing, speaking to me as if I was stupid, if they spoke to me at all. Most of their questions were directed at my stepmum.
The judgement made me furious, and even more determined to be an amazing mum and prove them all wrong.
Then, in September 1992, my labour started. My waters hadn’t broken, so I stayed in my bedroom, not wanting to disturb Dad before it was time. In the end my contractions got so close together that by the time I told him and we got to hospital, I was already 9cm dilated.
Just a few pushes later, suddenly she was there, my beautiful baby daughter. Chloe weighed 7lbs 12 ounces and was the most incredible thing I’d ever seen.
I was overwhelmed with love, unable to speak as I stared into her eyes. I just couldn’t believe I was a mum and that she was mine.
From that moment my life changed profoundly. Friends came to visit but chatted about boy bands and crushes, while I was responsible for a tiny human being. Suddenly there was a gulf between us.
In public, I’d see expressions of disgust when people saw me pushing the buggy. If Chloe cried on the bus, there were nasty stares instead of sympathy.
When Chloe was 10 weeks old, we moved in with Mum and I joined a new school. I managed to get my GCSEs despite the exhaustion and I wanted to get my A-levels. Until I was told that sixth form wasn’t for me and asked to leave.
By the time Chloe turned six, I was married and had her sister Cadence. But to the other school mums I was still an outsider. It was as if teenage pregnancy was contagious.
Written off by everyone, I channelled my upset and anger into being the best mum possible. In 2008 I started my own fitness and wellbeing business and worked hard to make it a success.
As Chloe grew, I was strict, refusing to give anyone a reason to think badly of me. Her schoolwork came first and as a teenager, I wouldn’t let her hang out in town with her friends. It wasn’t always easy. Chloe pushed back on my rules and was embarrassed when her male friends said I was fit.
But we could talk about anything. I made sure that Chloe understood about sex and relationships. She was even comfortable enough to tell me when she was ready to lose her virginity.
We also had a lot of fun. At 18 we were at the pub when Chloe was asked for her ID. “Now yours,” the barman said, refusing to believe I was her mum. I had to go home in a taxi and get my passport!
As the years passed, we became even closer. Watching her become a mother at 22, making me a grandma at 36, was incredible. Now she’s an amazing mum of three and I couldn’t be prouder.
When I heard about the EastEnders storyline, I was pleased. The fact is, teenage pregnancies do happen, and it’s something people should talk about more. It isn’t a dirty secret that should be hidden away.
Since that life-altering pregnancy test, I’ve faced judgement, loneliness and struggles that felt never-ending. But becoming Chloe’s mum gave me both my life’s purpose and my very best friend. I wouldn’t change that, or her, for the world.”
Unstoppable: How To Silence Self Doubt And Turn Up Your Power, by Bridie Walker, is on sale now. From £5.99 here on Amazon.
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